Finding the right boarding school in the UK for our three oldest children (13+) turned out to be a far more challenging process than we initially anticipated. My wife comes from a long line of boarding school alumni—she, her siblings and her parents went through the system, so this was an established tradition in her family.
Our kids had been in private day schools in the U.S. for most of their lives. Given our transatlantic lifestyle, with me traveling frequently for work and us spending time in both the U.S. and the UK, boarding school seemed like a natural next step.
We also wanted to keep all three of our children together, ensuring that they could provide mutual support while navigating this new chapter of their lives. The challenge was finding the right co-educational full boarding school that could accommodate all of them, offer a high academic standard, and provide a nurturing environment.
Why Choose Boarding School?
Boarding school offers unique advantages, many of which aligned with our family’s values and needs. Here are the top reasons that ultimately led us to this decision:
- Smaller Class Sizes
One of the primary benefits of boarding schools is the small class sizes, which allow for more personalized attention. This tailored learning environment encourages critical thinking and meaningful engagement with faculty, who act as mentors as well as teachers. For our children, the promise of close interactions with educators was a big draw. - A Structured Environment
Boarding schools provide a structured environment that fosters independence. With a balanced schedule of academics, extracurricular activities, and personal time, students learn to manage their responsibilities effectively. For our kids, who thrive in organized settings, this was a significant factor in our decision-making. - Leadership Development
Beyond academics, many boarding schools integrate leadership and character education into daily life. We wanted our children to not only excel in their studies but also grow into responsible, thoughtful individuals. Boarding schools often emphasize ethics, teamwork, and leadership, which we felt would prepare them well for both university and life beyond. - Global Citizenship
UK boarding schools attract students from all over the world, and we loved the idea of our children interacting with peers from diverse backgrounds. Exposure to different cultures, perspectives, and ways of thinking would help them develop into empathetic, globally-minded individuals. We see this as an invaluable aspect of their education, especially in today’s interconnected world. - Lifelong Friendships
One of the unique aspects of boarding school life is the lifelong friendships formed through shared experiences. We wanted our children to not only excel academically but also build meaningful connections with peers who might one day become part of their professional network. The close-knit community at boarding schools creates bonds that often last a lifetime.
The Search for the Right School
With over 450 boarding schools across the UK, we knew we had to be strategic in narrowing down our options. We started by setting clear criteria: co-education, full boarding, high academic standards, and a supportive environment without overwhelming pressure. We also wanted a school with a good balance between academics and extracurricular activities, as our kids have various interests outside the classroom.
Co-education vs. Single-Sex
The first big decision was whether to go for a co-ed or single-sex school. Given that we wanted all three of our children—two girls and one boy—to attend the same school, co-education was the obvious choice. However, we still discussed the benefits of single-sex education and considered whether it might be a better fit for any of our kids. Ultimately, we decided that life is co-educational, and having them in a mixed environment would help them navigate real-world dynamics more effectively.
Full-Boarder to Day-Pupil Ratio
Another important factor was ensuring that the school had a significant number of full boarders. Some schools in the UK have a mix of day pupils, weekly boarders, and full boarders, and we wanted to make sure our kids would be surrounded by peers during weekends as well. We specifically sought out schools with robust weekend programs and a large community of full boarders to avoid the risk of our children feeling isolated during non-academic times.
Location Matters
Proximity to major airports or transportation hubs is another factor to consider, especially if your children will be traveling back and forth frequently. We found that schools within 1.5 hours of a major airport were ideal, allowing us to visit easily and giving our children convenient travel options.
Academic Rigor Without Excessive Pressure
We were seeking schools that could provide a challenging academic environment but without being overly high-pressure. Our children are naturally curious and motivated, but we wanted them to enjoy their learning experiences without the overwhelming burden of constant academic stress. We also looked into A-level results, knowing that higher results often reflect a more selective and focused academic culture.
Strengths and Interests
All three of our children have different talents and interests, ranging from sports to arts to academic subjects. We wanted a school that could nurture these individual strengths, offering strong extracurricular programs and the facilities to help them grow in their chosen areas.
IB vs. A-Levels
Another critical decision was choosing between the A-Level and International Baccalaureate (IB) programs. A-Levels offer more specialization, while IB is broader and encompasses a wider range of subjects. After discussing with our kids, we felt A-Levels would suit them best as they already had a sense of their academic strengths and were keen to focus on particular areas.
Bias in Education Consultancy
One challenge we encountered was navigating the bias inherent in some education consultancies. These agencies often receive commissions from schools for placing students, sometimes prioritizing their financial interests over the well-being of the students. We were fortunate to have my wife’s family’s experience and networks to help us avoid poor advice, but for other families, this could be a serious pitfall. It’s vital to stay informed and make decisions based on your child’s needs, rather than agency recommendations.
Advice for Other Parents
If you’re considering UK boarding schools, don’t be swayed solely by polished brochures or promotional videos. Look for authentic feedback from current and past parents. Forums like Mumsnet were invaluable to us in uncovering the real experience behind the glossy marketing. Also, pay attention to academic results, as they often reflect the school’s selectiveness and commitment to excellence.
Final Choices
After months of research, countless school visits (both virtual and in-person), and discussions with our children, we finally narrowed our choices to three schools that we felt offered the perfect balance of pastoral care, academic rigor, and an enriching boarding experience:
- Haileybury School
Named Boarding School of the Year in 2024, and located about 20 miles north of central London, Haileybury impressed us with its commitment to fostering both academic excellence and student well-being. The campus, facilities, and strong sense of community made it a top contender for our family. - Rugby School
One of the oldest and most prestigious schools in the UK, Rugby has a strong academic reputation while also emphasizing character development and leadership. The campus is impressive, and the community is known for being inclusive and supportive. It felt like a place where our kids could truly thrive and grow as individuals. - Marlborough College
Marlborough is another excellent choice, with a history of academic excellence and a nurturing environment. The school has a strong focus on the arts and offers numerous opportunities for students to explore their talents. We appreciated the holistic approach to education here, as well as the emphasis on community and teamwork.
The Takeaway
Choosing a boarding school is an emotional decision as much as a practical one. For us, keeping all three kids together was a top priority, and we’re confident that this next step will not only enrich their academic lives but also foster the independence and resilience they’ll need in the future.
Ultimately, we feel confident in our choices and look forward to seeing how our children will flourish in their new surroundings.