Finding the right boarding school in the UK for our three oldest children (13+) turned out to be a far more challenging process than we initially anticipated. My wife comes from a long line of boarding school alumni—she, her siblings and her parents went through the system, so this was an established tradition in her family.
Our kids had been in private day schools in the U.S. for most of their lives. Given our transatlantic lifestyle, with me traveling frequently for work and us spending time in both the U.S. and the UK, boarding school seemed like a natural next step.
We also wanted to keep all three of our children together, ensuring that they could provide mutual support while navigating this new chapter of their lives. The challenge was finding the right co-educational full boarding school that could accommodate all of them, offer a high academic standard, and provide a nurturing environment.
Why Choose Boarding School?
Boarding school offers unique advantages, many of which aligned with our family’s values and needs. Here are the top reasons that ultimately led us to this decision:
- Smaller Class Sizes
One of the primary benefits of boarding schools is the small class sizes, which allow for more personalized attention. This tailored learning environment encourages critical thinking and meaningful engagement with faculty, who act as mentors as well as teachers. For our children, the promise of close interactions with educators was a big draw. - A Structured Environment
Boarding schools provide a structured environment that fosters independence. With a balanced schedule of academics, extracurricular activities, and personal time, students learn to manage their responsibilities effectively. For our kids, who thrive in organized settings, this was a significant factor in our decision-making. - Leadership Development
Beyond academics, many boarding schools integrate leadership and character education into daily life. We wanted our children to not only excel in their studies but also grow into responsible, thoughtful individuals. Boarding schools often emphasize ethics, teamwork, and leadership, which we felt would prepare them well for both university and life beyond. - Global Citizenship
UK boarding schools attract students from all over the world, and we loved the idea of our children interacting with peers from diverse backgrounds. Exposure to different cultures, perspectives, and ways of thinking would help them develop into empathetic, globally-minded individuals. We see this as an invaluable aspect of their education, especially in today’s interconnected world. - Lifelong Friendships
One of the unique aspects of boarding school life is the lifelong friendships formed through shared experiences. We wanted our children to not only excel academically but also build meaningful connections with peers who might one day become part of their professional network. The close-knit community at boarding schools creates bonds that often last a lifetime.
The Search for the Right School
With over 450 boarding schools across the UK, we knew we had to be strategic in narrowing down our options. We started by setting clear criteria: co-education, full boarding, high academic standards, and a supportive environment without overwhelming pressure. We also wanted a school with a good balance between academics and extracurricular activities, as our kids have various interests outside the classroom.
Co-education vs. Single-Sex
The first big decision was whether to go for a co-ed or single-sex school. Given that we wanted all three of our children—two girls and one boy—to attend the same school, co-education was the obvious choice. However, we still discussed the benefits of single-sex education and considered whether it might be a better fit for any of our kids. Ultimately, we decided that life is co-educational, and having them in a mixed environment would help them navigate real-world dynamics more effectively.
Full-Boarder to Day-Pupil Ratio
Another important factor was ensuring that the school had a significant number of full boarders. Some schools in the UK have a mix of day pupils, weekly boarders, and full boarders, and we wanted to make sure our kids would be surrounded by peers during weekends as well. We specifically sought out schools with robust weekend programs and a large community of full boarders to avoid the risk of our children feeling isolated during non-academic times.
Location Matters
Proximity to major airports or transportation hubs is another factor to consider, especially if your children will be traveling back and forth frequently. We found that schools within 1.5 hours of a major airport were ideal, allowing us to visit easily and giving our children convenient travel options.
Academic Rigor Without Excessive Pressure
We were seeking schools that could provide a challenging academic environment but without being overly high-pressure. Our children are naturally curious and motivated, but we wanted them to enjoy their learning experiences without the overwhelming burden of constant academic stress. We also looked into A-level results, knowing that higher results often reflect a more selective and focused academic culture.
Strengths and Interests
All three of our children have different talents and interests, ranging from sports to arts to academic subjects. We wanted a school that could nurture these individual strengths, offering strong extracurricular programs and the facilities to help them grow in their chosen areas.
IB vs. A-Levels
Another critical decision was choosing between the A-Level and International Baccalaureate (IB) programs. A-Levels offer more specialization, while IB is broader and encompasses a wider range of subjects. After discussing with our kids, we felt A-Levels would suit them best as they already had a sense of their academic strengths and were keen to focus on particular areas.
Bias in Education Consultancy
One challenge we encountered was navigating the bias inherent in some education consultancies. These agencies often receive commissions from schools for placing students, sometimes prioritizing their financial interests over the well-being of the students. We were fortunate to have my wife’s family’s experience and networks to help us avoid poor advice, but for other families, this could be a serious pitfall. It’s vital to stay informed and make decisions based on your child’s needs, rather than agency recommendations.
Advice for Other Parents
If you’re considering UK boarding schools, don’t be swayed solely by polished brochures or promotional videos. Look for authentic feedback from current and past parents. Forums like Mumsnet were invaluable to us in uncovering the real experience behind the glossy marketing. Also, pay attention to academic results, as they often reflect the school’s selectiveness and commitment to excellence.
Final Choices
After months of research, countless school visits (both virtual and in-person), and discussions with our children, we finally narrowed our choices to four schools that we felt offered the perfect balance of pastoral care, academic rigor, and an enriching boarding experience:
- Haileybury School
We couldn’t be more impressed with Haileybury School, recently named Boarding School of the Year 2024. As one of the UK’s top IB schools, it offers an excellent academic program, including IGCSEs, A-Levels, and the IB, with standout results like 77% of IGCSE grades at 9-7 in 2023. Small class sizes (15 in senior school, 9 in Sixth Form) ensure every student gets the attention they need to thrive.
The school’s stunning campus, just 30 minutes from London Stansted, immediately wowed us. With 12 beautifully maintained boarding houses and 90% of staff living on-site, Haileybury fosters a strong, inclusive community. Even day pupils feel fully integrated, often staying late into the evening.
What really stands out to us is the breadth of opportunities outside the classroom. From sports—football, hockey, and even water polo—to a vibrant arts program featuring award-winning choral music and dance, there’s truly something for every interest. The co-curricular options, from Model UN to wildlife conservation, are equally impressive. - Rugby School
Rugby School, just 50 minutes by train from London Euston, is one of Britain’s most iconic boarding schools. Steeped in history—this is the birthplace of rugby football—it also feels very much in tune with the 21st century. From the moment we arrived, we felt the strong sense of tradition paired with a progressive approach to education. With 860 pupils, 80% of whom board, the community spirit is palpable. Meals are shared within boarding houses, creating a home-like atmosphere that’s reinforced by inter-house competitions and daily interactions.
The academics are impressive, with small class sizes (12 in senior school, 9 in Sixth Form) allowing teachers to really focus on individual students. A-Levels, IB, and I/GCSEs are on offer, with options to study French, German, or Spanish at higher levels. Beyond academics, Rugby encourages pupils to dive into an incredible range of extracurricular activities. Sports are a huge part of life here, and it’s not just rugby—football, cricket, tennis, hockey, sailing, polo, and even tai chi are on the menu. We were particularly struck by how inclusive and encouraging the school is, ensuring every student has the chance to explore their passions.
Music is another highlight. With 40 practice rooms, several choirs, orchestras, jazz bands, and rock groups, the opportunities to get involved are endless. Hearing about students singing at the BBC and performing in New York gave us a real sense of the school’s ambition and talent. Boarding life is charming, with Victorian houses adding character, and the tradition of in-house dining fostering a true family feel.
While the town of Rugby itself might not win any awards, the school more than makes up for it with its incredible facilities, inspiring teachers, and dedication to educating the whole person. With Birmingham Airport just an hour away, it’s also well-suited for international families like ours. - Marlborough College
At Marlborough College in the heart of Wiltshire, we’ve found a school that perfectly embodies the essence of a classic English boarding experience. With its rich traditions, outstanding academics, and an almost overwhelming range of extracurricular activities, it’s no wonder competition for places is fierce—parents are advised to apply at least three years in advance.
Academically, Marlborough’s results speak for themselves: in 2024, 60% of A-Level grades were A, and 71% of GCSE grades were 9-7. But it’s not just the grades that impress us. The school goes beyond the basics with its “mini-electives,” offering our children the chance to explore niche subjects like public speaking or solving cryptic crosswords. The language options are equally impressive, from Latin and Greek to Mandarin and Arabic, ensuring something for every interest.
The extracurriculars are where Marlborough really shines for us. Whether it’s rugby, hockey, polo, or adventurous activities like mountain biking and canoeing, the school has something to suit every taste. We’re equally impressed by the arts, with professional-level drama productions in the 500-seat Ellis Theatre and a music program featuring a renowned symphony orchestra and an outstanding chapel choir. Clubs and societies—from astronomy (with its own observatory!) to quirky options like a retro book club—ensure our children will never run out of opportunities to learn and grow.
Marlborough is a true full-boarding school, which we love. The 16 mixed-age houses, each with its own personality, foster a strong sense of belonging. The boarding experience feels comprehensive, and with compulsory exeat weekends, it’s well-suited for families who value a truly immersive environment. - Oundle School
We found Oundle School to be the perfect fit for advanced all-rounders, offering a dynamic mix of academic excellence and enriching extracurricular opportunities. As a selective and rigorous school, its results speak for themselves—74% of I/GCSE grades at 9-7 and 67% of A-Level grades at A in 2024. The STEM program is a standout, with the Patrick Engineering Center providing an exceptional space for engineering, design, and technology projects like building electric cars.
We were impressed by the boarding setup, with 80% of pupils as full boarders living in welcoming houses scattered across the picturesque market town. Sharing meals in-house adds to the strong sense of community.
Oundle’s energy extends beyond academics. From competitive sports like rugby and cricket to the arts and hands-on projects, we saw a school full of creativity and ambition. It’s a place where students embrace every opportunity and thrive in a vibrant, supportive environment.
The Takeaway
Choosing a boarding school is an emotional decision as much as a practical one. For us, keeping all three kids together was a top priority, and we’re confident that this next step will not only enrich their academic lives but also foster the independence and resilience they’ll need in the future.
Ultimately, we feel confident in our choices and look forward to seeing how our children will flourish in their new surroundings.